Asking For A Friend – My friend is living in sin. What do I do?
Welcome to the Asking for a Friend Podcast.
This week’s question is “So I have a friend who is doing something I know is strictly against God’s word. I want to help push her toward the right decision. But I feel like if I tell her parents or grandparents, that she’ll get mad and not want to be my friend anymore. I keep praying for her, but it feels like I should do more. What would you recommend doing?”
Show Notes:
There are 3 steps to take prior to involving the parents/grandparents:
- Prayer (1 Timothy 2:1)
- For God to work in them
- To confess your own sins prior to the conversation (Matthew 7:1-5)
- Approach the Conversation in Love
- Don’t go in guns blazing but make sure they know you are coming from a point of compassion. That this conversation needs to take place because of your love for them.
- Our motive must be loving with restoration in mind (1 Corinthians and 2 Corinthians 2:4).
- Approach the Conversation with Scripture
- Make sure the conversation is rooted in scripture. You should have scripture ready to rely on or it will just look like your opinion.
- This will show your friend that it is not your standard they are breaking, but God’s.
There are two outcomes to this very tough conversation. Both mark the beginning of the journey and not the end. If your friend agrees and repents, then you walk along with them and provide accountability and sharing in each other’s burdens (Galations 6:1-2).
If they deny any wrongdoing, give them a chance to come clean to their parents first prior to addressing it with them. You may find it easier to involve your own parents for the conversation, especially if they have a relationship with your friend’s parents as well. In fact, it may be a good idea for any outcome to eventually involve their parents. Remember to approach all conversations involving this topic in the same ways as described above.
If still your friend denies and may break off any friendship, remember that it isn’t your fault but they may need to wander for a bit. God will still be able to use their time apart to further his plans for them. Remember the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) needed to have time alone to realize what he had at his father’s house. So pray for their well being and be ready to welcome them back when they return.