Do I Have A Testimony Worth Sharing?
Why do people always talk so much about the “hard things” in their lives when sharing their testimony?
This question came to mind recently when listening to the testimony shared Tuesday night at Journey, Corner’s young adult ministry. It came up in our small group discussion that many churches have pastors that try to keep hidden the messier parts of life hidden, and convince their congregation to do the same. One of the women told us her pastor said sharing all those sinful things would, in essence, mar her ability to share the gospel. We all discussed that, though it is certainly true that focusing on all the horrible things that have happened to you or that you have done could be damaging, we can be very good witnesses of the transformative work of the gospel while being honest and vulnerable at the same time!
We have all experienced sin and brokenness in our lives, but as people who are redeemed, reconciled, and changed, that isn’t what we should focus on. We know that we are no longer defined by past mistakes or pain, but that Christ’s blood has washed us clean and made us new creatures. Then why do we talk so much about our brokenness in our testimonies?
Until a few months ago, the subject of “sharing my testimony” has always brought me a feeling of dread and frustration, even bitterness. Whenever I heard a testimony shared at youth group or on Sunday morning, I thought my life seemed “perfect” in comparison to other people’s. I remember thinking, “I have never been abused. I have never had anyone I love die. I have never had crippling anxiety or depression. I have never had a chronic illness. I have never had suicidal thoughts. I haven’t gone through any of these things. I don’t have ANYTHING to share in a testimony!”
I was somehow convinced that I needed to experience obvious trauma to have a story to share with others; as if God was only able to make Himself known through horrific situations.
I heard plenty of testimonies throughout my young teen years, but never really had an opportunity or need to share my own. For a long time, I avoided thinking about the whole thing as much as possible, hoping by the time I needed to share something I would “have something to share”. God was going to change my perspective on that soon.
This past June, I went on a mission trip to Africa. Somewhere towards the end of our ten days we were told that everyone would be sharing their testimonies around the evening fire. I panicked. The moment I had dreaded for years. What was I going to say? How could I tell a summary of my life in a way that sounded… right (whatever that meant)?
t took a few nights to get around to everyone, and I intentionally procrastinated for the first two evenings. I tried to think of things to share, but nothing came to mind. The thought that I have no story to tell shrouded me.
On night three, I knew it was my turn. I couldn’t get out of this, and I would hate it even more if I was the very last person to go. I prayed an urgent, ardent prayer, asking God to show me what to say and that He would speak through me. He had done amazing things before, I knew He could do it again. I was terrified, but I was trying to trust Him.
Before I lost that inkling of courage and gumption, I jumped in and started talking about my life. Pivotal “God moments” I have experienced flowed into my thoughts, and I suddenly saw my testimony . There had been lots of fears, pain, and weakness, but I saw with more clarity than ever how God used those moments to show His peace, comfort, provision, and strength. Here I was, conquering one of my great fears of telling my testimony to these other believers around a campfire in Malawi; God was yet again showing me that He was with me. I had nothing to fear. I DID have a story to tell!
Through that experience, I realized it isn’t really about the specific things we go through that matter. It isn’t those moments themselves that brought honor and glory to God: it is how God used those moments, and all the others- to show me His love and to glorify His Name.
Isaiah 41:8-10, 17-20: “But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; 9 you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, “You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. …. When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them. 18 I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys. I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. 19 I will put in the wilderness the cedar, the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive. I will set in the desert the cypress, the plane and the pine together, 20 that they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it.
You have a story to tell; a powerful testimony of how God has worked- and is working, in your life. The highlights will change (as I am sure mine will in time). You might even see how God used a moment in your life in ways you can’t quite see yet.
I believe God has given us all a unique voice to tell of our individual experiences. I put God in a box when I thought He would only be able to show His power at work in my life through trauma. He uses the abundant, lush seasons just as powerfully as the dry and broken ones… and everything in between