Big Questions

Dean has worked in the building components manufacturing business since 1986, and by 2007, he had experienced many changes in the structure and ownership of the company where he worked as the General Manager. He had learned of the possibility of his company coming up for sale once again and had been, along with two partners, prayerfully discussing and planning to purchase it. They had been negotiating financing with a local bank for several months and finally had a late morning appointment on July 5 to sign the final agreement.

Over the 4th of July, our family took an annual camping vacation at Muskegon State Park, and over time, this vacation turned into a family reunion week with aunts, uncles, and cousins on my dad’s side. Mark and Michael loved this, they spent their days riding bikes, playing army in the dunes, fishing off the pier, and swimming in Lake Michigan with a gang of perhaps 20 cousins. Since summer was the busy time of year for Dean, he would typically join us at the campground for just the time off over the holiday and then I would stay with the boys for another week or so while he worked. We had been up late to watch the fireworks over Muskegon Lake and had just fallen asleep when Dean’s phone rang. He told me, “There’s a fire, it’s really bad and I’ve got to go.” I didn’t hear from him again until the following evening.

The manufacturing plant, the two floors of offices, the lumber sheds, all of it was gone. It was a total loss. We later learned that the second shift supervisor had stayed after his shift to use some welding equipment to fix his car, and had accidentally set a nearby wall on fire. He thought he had put the fire out, but somehow a spark ignited some sawdust in the attic portion of the maintenance shop which then spread to the adjacent plant. Neighbors of the property reported hearing an explosion in the early hours of July 5 and alerted authorities.

Over the next week, Dean worked with very little sleep to help find temporary placement for the nearly 200 employees who suddenly had no income. After many meetings, the parent corporation decided to take the insurance settlement instead of rebuilding, and Dean and his partners very quickly went from being almost owners of the business to being unemployed. It was just a couple of weeks later that we learned the employee using the welding equipment, which had accidentally started the fire, was so upset about what happened that he attempted suicide.

Events like these leave us with big questions. Why did God say “no” to our prayers this way? Why did so many people need to suffer? What were we to do now? As I reflect on that turbulent time for us, I still have some unanswered questions, but I can say Dean and I have grown and benefited from having lived through it. We were brought to our knees in humility and made to acknowledge God’s sovereignty over us. We learned what it meant to trust God when we had no idea how to proceed, and I was very challenged by God to release to Him my need to know the answers to those big questions, and to be OK without knowing. God showed me how short-sighted and unwise I am, and that He wants me to trust His character.

Sometimes God hides Himself from us during testing so we will pursue Him instead of the gifts He gives and things He does. In Psalm 10, the writer begins with the question “Why O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” But after pouring out his complaint about injustice and asking God to” break the arm of the wicked and evildoer”, he gives a beautiful example of a sacrifice of praise and testimony of God’s character. He hasn’t gotten an answer yet, but he writes: “The Lord is king forever and ever; the nations perish from his land. Oh Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart, you will incline our earth to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.” 

Scripture tells us that everything God purposes in our lives is motivated by His love and His desire for intimacy with us. He has a deeper purpose that is evident in the unseen, which is the formation of Christ in us, and the hope of glory yet to be revealed.

2 Corinthians 4:7-11, 16-18 reads:

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh……So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

I’ll end with lyrics to a song by Alisa Childers that has been a huge encouragement to me.

“I know it’s hard but you can make it
I know that this is true
Because you have a High Priest
Who was tempted like you

Look to your perfect Redeemer
His righteousness covers you
He’ll give you strength for the path
That He’s called you to

So pray for me and I will pray for you
No turning right or left, we’ll make it through
The road that’s narrow and the gate that’s small
Don’t give up, it’s gonna be worth it all

I know the battle’s left you weary
There seems no end in sight
The overwhelming temptation
To give up the fight

Your Father’s voice is calling
He’s never left your side
Come taste and see what the Lord has done
Your redemption draws nigh

So pray for me and I will pray for you
No turning right or left, we’ll make it through
The road that’s narrow and the gate that’s small
Don’t give up, it’s gonna be worth it all

What if the suffering had a purpose?
What if the blood of Jesus really purchased you
What if he’s a God of wrath and love and fear?
What if your salvation is near?

So pray for me and I will pray for you
No turning right or left, we’ll make it through
The road that’s narrow and the gate that’s small
Don’t give up, it’s gonna be worth it all”