Butterflies and Chipmunks
Today I was feeling heavily burdened by many thoughts and cares. It feels like so much is going on in my life right now- so many good things- but even that can feel like a heavy burden.
Just before I sat down to write this blog, I went for a walk in the woods behind my parents’ house. I find so much solace and peace in that sanctuary of trees and briars! My mind feels more clear, and my heart more restful after I spend time in nature.
A large Eastern Tiger Swallowtail butterfly danced around and over and on the purple phlox, sipping nectar. With how happy and carefree the insect appeared, I imagine it would’ve been humming if it had a voice.
On the path in front of me, a chipmunk sat with tail erect and glassy eyes wide, flinching every time it heard a loud birdcall.
One creature was in a state of peace, one a state of fear. It seemed that God was showing me something about myself, and I had to ask myself, “Am I the butterfly or the chipmunk?”
In one state, I am resting in God’s provision, and seeing beauty in the everyday life He has given me to live. In the other state, I am tense and anxious, ready to run from the danger I feel must be right around the corner, the bad thing that could spring at any moment.
The way I respond to my environment doesn’t change it. I am part of the same beautiful and heartbreaking world either way, blessed by a loving God even through suffering. Yet even when I may not notice or take time to enjoy it, there is goodness all around me. Psalm 31 reminds me:
But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
My times are in your hand; ….
Oh, how abundant is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you
and worked for those who take refuge in you,
in the sight of the children of mankind!
(Psalm 31:14-15a, 19)
In my personal study time recently, I have been reading alternately through the books of Exodus and Acts. It has been interesting seeing the Old Testament and the new juxtaposed in this way: The more rigid structure of life for the Israelites (although it was not without God’s love and joy), and the total freedom that Jesus’ resurrection brings us.
What stood out the most in my reading this morning in Acts was verse 28 of chapter 4, “…To do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place.” The context for this verse was the prayer of early church leaders, asking God to grant them boldness in sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the world.
Of course, it is always a good idea to read a passage of Scripture in context- but sometimes, I find myself glazing over certain things when I am reading a long section or chapter. I stopped reading at this verse, wrote it down, and pinned it above my desk behind my laptop so I could meditate on it.
To do whatever Your hand and plan had predestined to take place.
All that is filling my time and energy up right now was pre-planned by God. He organized it all before I was born. Changes don’t put Him off-kilter, and nothing can surprise Him. Whatever happens, God expects it, and He knows how to use it. He is with me every step, every leap, and every stumble. He is faithful to pick me up again when I make a mistake- and not even those can surprise Him.
Friends, if you are feeling burdened by something (or many things!), I encourage you to look at what God has promised you (the psalms are an easy place to start). Look at how He has provided for you in your life right now. I am in a season that forces me to look to God with a hungry heart, and anticipate His filling of it. I feel a bit unsteady on my own two feet, but I know from what He has told me in His “Great love letter” (His Word!) that He will provide for me and protect me through it all.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.
(Psalm 23:6)